what's it like to have no children in your life? the first "dink" in the country has reached his old age, and now what is it like?

the idea of succession seems to be deeply hidden in the hearts of every chinese, and thick genealogical records are also conveying the power of life.

however, with the development of the times, more people choose not to have children, want to live a life freely, so the "dink" came into being.

the dingke family in the entertainment circle is not in the minority, li jian once said in the variety show, "do not want children, their genes are not worth being inherited", cctv kang hui and his wife also chose not to have children.

so what's it like to have no children in your life? will people regret it when they reach middle age?

in the 1980s, the first dingks appeared in china, they fought against the world, express themselves, never wanted children in their lifetimes.

now that they are old enough, what is the status quo? take a look at their lives now, and maybe give you a reference on whether you want to be a "dink" or not.

old couple: it's mixed

lao fang and his lover were married in the mid-1980s, in order to pursue a better life, lao fang chose to go to sea to do business, his wife left home.

both husband and wife felt that they were not ready to be parents, so they decided to work hard to lay a solid foundation for the rest of their lives.

unexpectedly, the longer the two people's small days passed, they found each other without children's freedom, free, so they decided to become the "dink family."

the struggle of the young man is rewarding, now the old couple's life is no longer short of material, and can even be described as rich.

coupled with the fact that they were retired, they decided to travel together, enjoy the beauty of the place together, and walk away from the quartet.

in this way, the old couple's life is good, but the old can not be as young as the energy to play around, all kinds of hunting to kill time, now the time is difficult to pass.

lao fang said: sometimes to see other people's family's happy melt look real envy. in particular, the mid-autumn festival chinese new year's eve this family reunion festival, the neighbors are laughing and laughing, and our family only two of us, chinese new year's eve do not want to do more food.

lao fang also said: probably because they used to be fighting for a career, both sides can understand each other, but now after the two retire, more leisure time, daily get along with each other is prone to friction, now the number of quarrels is obviously much more.

asked if he regretted it, he said, "if time goes back, you won't choose this life." but now there is no chance of redemption. ”

lao zhang and his wife are also the first batch of dink, young people feel that they should enjoy life, do not want to be bound by children.

and because mrs. zhang's native family is patriarchal, her childhood life unfortunately led to mrs. zhang not wanting children.

the husband agreed.

it's just that happiness doesn't last long, and five years later, the husband has the idea of having children.

but mrs. zhang because of her age did not have children, the two increasingly acute contradictions, and finally ended in divorce.

lao luo couple: comfortable life

mrs. rowe, a junior high school teacher, wanted a marriage that was free and equal to her husband and not kidnapped by her family and children.

before marrying mr. luo, mrs. luo had a marriage, but that marriage was not happy, mrs. luo's ex-husband was grumpy, completely mascucratic.

coupled with the 1980s, the status of women is relatively low, the ex-husband sometimes abused and taunted her behavior occurred, increasingly contradictory family life so that mrs. rowe was overwhelmed, and finally chose to divorce.

mr. luo, a college teacher, agreed that the two men had finally chosen to enter into marriage and reached a consensus that they should not have children.

both are now retired, have a pension to retire, daily discussion of literature and art, planting flowers and grass, life is also comfortable.

mrs. luo said: we two have been used to life without children, so good, no worries, do not have to worry too much, and now raise children more internal roll, not only high cost, psychological pressure is also big.

and as a teacher, i know it's hard to raise children. so i don't have much expectation of my child, and it would be nice to educate him to be a useful person for the country.

but in case the education is not good, i am worried about this problem. i am very happy now, for not having children, i have no regrets.

risks for the dinks

the key to being a tinker is to consider these two points clearly:

the first is the relationship between husband and wife.

it is not so much the child is the crystallization of the couple's love, but rather the bond of the couple's feelings, the adjustment agent of the marriage life.

life is long, if there are no children in the middle of mediation, in the face of contradictions, quarrels will easily escalate, intransigent.

parents often say, "marriage is repair to repair a lifetime", but, if there are no children, couples less, lack of parental responsibility constraints, no patience to repair cracks, once there is a contradiction, divorce becomes easy.

this requires couples to have rich spiritual life after marriage, have their own goals, like cctv host kang hui, their own work full, with the outside world extensive communication, rich spiritual world.

at the same time, the wife also has their own career, the spirit of the two people better than everything, daily life, also do not need children in the middle as a buffer of emotions.

therefore, whether you can maintain a good mental state after marriage is also a "dink" consideration.

second, the more critical is the issue of old-age care.

whether the couple can earn enough for retirement in their prime, or before retirement.

chinese's traditional view is: keep children to prevent old age.

once people get old, their physical health continues to decline, and there is a real need for young people around to take care of them.

you might argue that we can go to a nursing home, where not only professional escorts, but also all kinds of old age entertainment, this kind of life is also very enjoyable.

this raises a key issue, money. the cost of a nursing home must be a lot, which means you have to make sure that your family has a solid physical base and that you have enough money to support your pension.

so, before you can be a tinker, you need to make money quickly.

follow your inner choices

throughout the life of the dinks, there are indeed currently in poor condition, they are slightly less physically and spiritually lonely. on one side, the couple are old enough to lose their workforce and lack financial support.

on the one hand is to look around the peer has been three generations of the same room, surrounded by children, enjoy the years, really lost a lot of family joy.

of course, there are husband and wife living a leisurely life, no trivial life to deal with, travel tea painting, just is a happy fairy life.

why isn't this enviable?

life is about "doing what you want to do." "life is your own, and choice is your own.

however, whether or not to be a tinker, you need the husband and wife to think together, the choice also needs you to share. so we must reach a consensus and plan carefully.